Alter Ego or Multiple Personalities?

Have you ever felt like you lead a double life? I was thinking about this idea yesterday. I feel almost as if I am one person while I'm at work and a totally different person when I'm at home or around my friends. Only rarely do the two personalities (or alter egos, if you will) collide. I think that only Sam has seen both sides of me. I'd like to see this as me having an alter-ego not an outcry from my "other" personalities. Take this past week into weekend, for example. On Friday, I spent the entire day on the phone to either patients, or patient's family members or various companies in the community for my job. I was super nice on the phone and spent more time saying, "I agree. That's terrible. I completely understand. That must be so frustrating for you."

This alter-ego I have named, da da da duh duh duhhhh....Death Girl! Bringing compassion and a sympathetic/empathic ear to dying people and their kin. I considered "The Grim Reaper" or maybe some rapper known as G. Reaper (At the urging of a co-worker) but most times I feel like some sort of inconspicuous superhero. Seriously, I spend my days waiting for my patients to die and in some weird way hoping that they will die so that my caseload will get smaller and smaller. I don't see this as burnout, I see it as a social worker who is really excited about her upcoming project but she can't do her upcoming project as long as she has these Hospice people hanging around. According to a patient's daughter, I do God's work. That's nice of God to give me this to do. Now where are my abilities to walk through walls, leap tall buildings with a single bound and fly in my invisible plane?

But then Saturday rolls around and I'm a cussin', drinkin', smokin' crazy girl who doesn't give a damn how people are feeling. Okay, that's not completely true, but I'm trying so hard to make my other alter-ego (the real me) be as different from my superhero as can be. Isn't that how Clark Kent and Superman are? When I'm being me, I enjoy a lazy Sunday filled with 4-hour brunches (Thank you to Ellen and Paulette for joining us), I enjoy spending all of the money that I don't have shopping upstate with Annie and I enjoy being as far away from work as possible.

And then Monday morning rolls around and I change in to my business attire (not in a phone booth, mind you) and start calling patients' families to offer my condolences. On that note, two of my patients died over the weekend, bringing my caseload down to 9!

It's just funny, Sam and I figured this all out last night. We are comprised of two different personalities as I'm sure that everyone is. We have our "work" selves and our "home" selves. It's just amazing how different the two can be. My patients (and coworkers) think of me as so conservative. I bet they'd be shocked to know that I'm hiding three tattoos under my work clothes as well as panties with martini glasses all over them. How conservative is that?!

So, please stay tuned for the further adventures of Death Girl and Mac Man!!!! A.K.A (after the 9-5 grind ends) Carlye and Sam. Hopefully next week I'll be given my cape and begin secret missions!! Will I get official membership into the Justice League?!