A Smoker's Struggle...

After reading recent blog posts regarding the harms of second-hand smoke, I would like to share a recent happening in our lives. Though I agree with everyone that smoking is harmful and that it is annoying and can cause allergic reactions, reduce quality of life in people's own homes, and can cause anger and frustration, I have to stand up for smokers. This is not meant to be hostile towards those who want clean air, reduction of smoke, and elimination of allergy-inducing toxins. This is not meant to offend people or ruin friendships, but I feel that I should not be looked at as some sort of pariah either.

About a month ago we received a certified letter from our upstairs neighbor reporting that her allergy to cigarette smoke had been exacerbated due to the horrible smokers that are currently living below her. This neighbor noted that rugs had to be removed from her home due to the stale cigarette smell and that quality of life had been drastically reduced. The neighbor requested that something be done to reduce, if not eliminate the cigarette smoke entering her apartment. I would also like to add that this letter was sent to both her lawyer as well as to our landlord, following over a year of co-habitation with said neighbor.

After speaking with this neighbor while downstairs (smoking outside), we (Sam) elaborated on the measures taken over the last year and a half to keep the cigarette smoking from bothering other neighbors. When we moved in, we purchased an exhaust fan for the window that would gather the smoke and send it outside. This kept the smoke from invading our apartment and our neighbor's apartments as well. We always had a fan going in the apartment to circulate the air so that stale air was not a problem. We only smoked at the window to keep the smoke in a concentrated area.

After receiving this letter, we combed through our lease to determine whether or not we were doing something that could get us evicted. Though there is no clause in the lease that states that we cannot smoke in the apartment, it is mentioned that we must refrain from being a nuisance to our neighbors. Now, the cigarette smoke that was allegedly wafting into her apartment could be seen as a nuisance, but so could the receipt of a certified letter, the constant stomping on the floor above us that our neighbor continues to engage in, as well as the subsequent knocking on our door to berate us and the rude letter that was taped to our mailbox.

Sam and I decided to take drastic measures, short of quitting smoking. We chose to stop smoking in the apartment, even though our friends (who don't smoke) and my mom (who hates that we smoke) noted that our apartment did not smell like smoke and that they couldn't smell it even when we were smoking at the window! Every night, Sam and I would head downstairs to smoke outside. I have to note that we smoked outside, along with several of our neighbors. In fact, half of the building's units contain smokers -- could she really prove that the problem was us? We clean up our cigarette butts and don't feel that we are harming anyone but ourselves.

It was after smoking outside for two weeks that we received the nasty note taped to our mailbox that stated, "something has to be done about the smoking!" This letter never made it to us because one of our neighbors felt it was rude and removed it (she did tell us about it later).

I know that smoking is harmful and I know that it is bothersome, but it is what I choose to do to myself. Since smoking outside, the amount of cigarettes that I smoke has definitely decreased, but I'm still a smoker. I am mindful to not blow smoke in people's face or towards non-smokers. I am cautious when walking down the street to pay attention to those around me so as not to be bothersome. I agree with the ban on smoking in restaurants, clubs and cafes -- I don't want to smell the stale cigarette smoke either. I do not choose to do illegal drugs or to consume large amounts of alcohol. I am a safe driver and put people's safety as a priority. I am a social worker for G-d's sake. I have a stressful job and a stressful life and though it's not an excuse, my method of decompressing includes smoking cigarettes.

Ellen mentions the pollution of the large trucks in California. An article was recently published that noted that the Gowanus canal has such a huge amount of pollutants dumped into it each year, that the residents of that area have the highest incidences of asthma. Cigarette smoke is the least of their worries. New York City is an extremely polluted city with such poor air quality. Why would an allergic person ever choose to live here?

I know that this rant has gone on way too long and my fear in posting this is that I will be harshly judged and looked down upon for being a smoker. Everyone has their vices and overeating and smoking are mine. I'm sorry again if this is offensive or seems to be somewhat aggressive, but I want my side and my struggle to be heard. I contemplate quitting every day and know that it would be so much better for me if I did, but the time is not right for me. If I can't smoke in my own apartment, and can't smoke outside of my building, this basically relegates me to the inside of my car. Until cigarette smoking is made illegal, there should be a place that I can smoke!

Please take this in the way that it was meant, just as an indicator of the struggle of smokers as well. This is something that brings me guilt on a daily basis -- I never wanted to be a person that causes others harm. I am a human and am entitled to poison my body if I choose. I try not to judge those who drink, do illicit drugs or live an extreme life, please don't judge me.

Now bring on the rage...