My hubby has a few buddies in town for a few days, checking out the sights and sounds of the big city. While wandering the streets of SoHo, the East Village, etc. with them yesterday, I encountered many obnoxious tourists. Given that I have been living in NYC for two years now, I tend to be somewhat unsympathetic to the visitors, as I now consid myself to be a New Yorker. It doesn't take much to spot a tourist - the wide-eyed stares, the smiling faces, the looks of confusion. When we first arrived in NYC, we were given many tips of what to do and what not to do from our family and friends who had lived here much longer than us. I thought I would take it upon myself to offer some tips on "How to be a Good Tourist". It has been my experience that not ALL tourists are bad, just a few. The following is only an offer of guidance...take it all with a grain of salt. Feel free to add more!
Here goes:
1. No fanny-packs, oversize handbags, rolling bags, and especially, NO MAN PURSES ("murses") - carry a small purse or keep everything limited to your front pockets.
2. Know where you're going - please do not feel that you can get to your destination by drifting along the sidewalk, staring up towards street signs and looking hopefully into New Yorker's dead eyes - this will only get you trampled.
3. Keep moving - you may feel like cattle, but if you stop in the middle of the sidewalk to stare and ooh and ahh, you'll only upset the herd!
4. Refrain from saying "Excuse Me", politeness has gone out the window and basically - no body cares.
5. Learn to use your elbows - this will signal to those around you that you are a force to be reckoned with and this will allow you into the inner circle of the natives, not to mention that it will allow you to move along the sidewalk.
6. Pretend you are "Frogger" - weaving in and out of traffic, whether it be cars or human, will get you everywhere. Walking a straight line will get you nowhere.
7. Ask directions from MTA employees (MTA = the subway workers), restaurants, deli's, street vendors, etc. Do not look to fellow humans on the street - most likely they are also tourists and just as lost as you.
8. Obey Walk and Don't Walk signs - NY Drivers are crazy and they WILL hit you!
9. When walking along a sidewalk or up the stairs from the subway, attempt to stay to the right (this goes for native New Yorkers too!), if everyone would just do this, we could avoid running into each other.
10. Learn to bargain, haggle, ask for a better deal from street vendors - price tags are merely suggestions.
11. If you give up on walking and decide to take a cab, take care in directing your cabbie: Do not give an address unless you know the streets that it is between, cabbies are not equipped with Mapquest. For example, Allen between Houston and Stanton, not 196 Allen Street.
12. Know the difference between "Uptown" and "Downtown", we don't operate as north or south.
13. Be prepared to walk - it's faster, cheaper and you get to experience more sights and sounds, not to mention it's good exercise.
14. While on a subway, street, just about anywhere, be prepared to be hounded by "homeless" people. You will be met with requests such as, "Please donate to the United Negro Pizza Fund" or "Excuse me ladies and gentleman, my name is Jessica and I am homeless [insert sob story here]". Give if you'd like, but keep in mind that they make a pretty good living pandhandling...
15. Do NOT attempt to drive in NYC - leave it to the professional psychos that get behind the wheel of yellow "demon" cabs!
And most of all: Enjoy the sights and sounds of this amazing city. Most people, you will find, will be nice and helpful, but not everyone. Welcome to New York, please enjoy!
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