It is the Best of Jobs, It is the Worst of Jobs...

I know most of you are waiting to hear a recap of our trip to Austin and Shelly and Joe's wedding, but you're just going to have to wait a bit longer. I'm still putting together what I want to say along with all of the pictures. (Lesley, when are you sending me your pictures?)

But first, allow me to post about the things that are on my mind RIGHT NOW!

Sometimes I hate my job. Take yesterday for instance...

So I've been back a few days and it seems like so much has changed. One of our long-time social workers submitted her resignation effective in two weeks or so. She will be greatly missed. Two nurses put in their resignation yesterday effective the end of May. One of the ladies who takes care of the filing put in her notice and to top it all off, one of my closest co-workers was fired yesterday afternoon.

Now granted, she saw it coming, but knowing about it and having it actually happen are two different things. I stuck around and helped her pack under the watchful eye of one of our supervisors. It was really hard to be helpful when my (now ex) co-worker was hysterically crying while throwing all of the things that she has amassed over the past three years into a box. It helped even less when she was told that she had approximately thirty minutes to pack all of her stuff and exit the building, never to return. She was humiliated. She felt like a criminal and my first thought? Am I next? This person was my mentor, my buddy, the person that I turned to when I needed to vent. I will miss her. Our team is getting smaller and smaller while our patient load is getting bigger and bigger. I'm a bit shaken at what has happened. But not as shaken as I'm going to be when I inherit her 28 patients!

Now onto why I love my job...

I saw three patients today. The first was one was sleeping when I arrived and it didn't really matter because even if she was awake, she wouldn't know who I was. But her home attendant told me how grateful she is that I come to visit because I am the only one who cares about how SHE is doing. And she's right. We don't usually focus on how the home attendants are going to feel when the patient dies. So I did a little bit of counseling with her and will see her again in a few weeks.

My second patient was my absolute favorite. The one I got to ride in the ambulance with, the one who tells me I'm like a daughter to her, the one who constantly tells me I'm doing a great job. She was so excited to see me and wanted to hear all about my vacation. I love this woman!

But those weren't the best parts of my day. My third patient is a lovely woman living with her three children (all younger than me) and her 4-year-old grandson. The family recently got a new puppy (I love dogs) and I was playing with the grandson and the dog. I know, not really social work-y, but you'd be surprised as to how relevant it really is. So, as we're playing, the dog got a little scared. I said to the kid, "Shadow's scared, why do you think that is?" His reply: "Shadow, don't be scared, she's not the doggy doctor, she's the grandma doctor!" I'm the grandma doctor?? Isn't that cute? I asked him what it meant to be the grandma doctor and he said that it was my job to make his grandma better and to come play with him. I asked him when he thought I should come back to see the family and he said he didn't know. I told him I would be back in two weeks and he said that it wasn't soon enough. "Come back in one week and then in two weeks and then three weeks and four weeks and five weeks". "What comes after five weeks", I said. "After five weeks is yogurt time. We have yogurt and then you bring me a present and then we do it all over again". What a cutie!! And so smart. He told me that he knew that his grandma was dying and that he was sad but that he was glad that he got to see her every day. Heartbreaking, right???

So that's been my last couple of days. Tonight the hubby and I are heading to a happy hour with some of my co-workers where we will undoubtedly talk about my friend who was fired. Should be interesting...

We Can't Catch a Break...

Sam and I are both in Austin, Texas spending time with my parents. I made the trip easily and am feeling much better. Unfortunately, Sam had to go to the doctor today and was diagnosed with strep throat! He's on heavy antibiotics as well as pain killers and is chillin' on the futon at my parents. This definitely puts a bit of a dent in the rest of our vacation, but for the first time ever, we're actually taking a vacation and RESTING! We don't know if we'll get to Houston to see Sam's family (and the dogs), but the main thing to worry about is our health.

I had to call Shelly (the bride) today to tell her about Sam's strep and to suggest that she pre-emptively get a shot of penicillin. It would suck for she and Joe to get strep. Hell, it's possible that Sam's strep could take out the whole wedding party! We're crossing our fingers that it's not the case...

Much more to tell when we're both feeling better.

Mama, I'm Comin' Home!!

Getting to JFK was the easiest thing that I have done today. I had to search all over Park Slope for one medication that none of the four pharmacies that I went to had even heard of. I had to have the ER doc write another Rx and call it in for me. Finally I have cough suppressant with codeine! Woo hoo, I am ready to fly.

I am taking advantage of the free wireless internet at the JetBlue terminal. I leave in an hour or so and am so excited. Sam is having a great time in Port Aransas with our friends. Our friend, Brian, who is on a two-week leave from the US Army joined Sam and all in Port Aransas. I can't wait to see Brian. Of all of our friends, I definitely feel the closest to him. He took care of our house when we first moved to NYC. He put new brake pads on my car when it needed to be done. He took care of me when I hurt my back while Sam was in California for training. He's a great guy and I see him as a little brother. I am positively giddy to hang out with him.

But not as excited as I am about seeing my mom. This is the longest I have gone without seeing my mom (5 months). I haven't seen her since Thanksgiving and that was not one of our best trips. It's just gonna be me and her this weekend, lots of gal bonding, shopping and eating! I still have to get shoes for the wedding next week, so we're definitely gonna be shopping!

I'm hoping to either pass out on the plane or really take advantage of the two magazines, two books, iPod, DirectTV, etc. that I will have access to during this 4-hour flight!

I'll write again from Austin!! In the words of Ozzy, "Mama I'm Comin' Home"...

Flyin' The Friendly Skies...

I got back from the ER about an hour ago and am all clear to fly to Austin tomorrow night. I was given a nebulizer treatment, which was amazing given that I was so short of breath on admission. My oxygen level was around 80 when I came in and after a minute or so of the treatment, it was around 97-99. I was given all new prescriptions to help me feel better. Unfortunately I was given steroids and am concerned about the possible weight gain component especially because a week from tomorrow is the wedding and as of right now, the bridesmaid dress doesn't fit so well. I was also given an asthma inhaler and cough syrup with codeine. This should be an interesting flight...

My chest x-ray was clear. I have Reactive Airway Disease, which is basically a fancy name for acute bronchitis (I'm guessin'). Thanks Ellen for all of the well wishes...Your crossed fingers really did the trick. I'm so excited about going home although I do plan to take it easy while I'm there, I want to continue to get better.

I leave tomorrow night and get into Austin around midnight. I'll see Sam on Sunday afternoon once he gets back from the bachelor/bachelorette party weekend.

Could I Be Any Sicker??

Well, Day 5 home from work. Got the chest x-ray yesterday. Waiting on the doctor to read it and give me results. As of right now, my doctor is really concerned because my cough has not gone away and it looks like the antibiotic isn't working. He's hoping to know more after he reads the chest x-ray report. As of now, it looks like I am not going to Austin tomorrow. I can't get on a plane when 1) I don't know what's going on with me and 2) The coughing won't stop and the coughing turns into vomiting when I can't get it to stop.

Sam is in Houston heading off to the bachelor/bachelorette party. My co-workers have been great, taking care of all of my patients and totally covering my ass. I'm gonna have to go out later today, I need more apple juice and chicken soup. I hate going out because coming back to the apartment kills me. My breathing is sooo labored from the bronchitis and for once I don't think I can blame it solely on my weight. Going up two flights of stairs to get home makes me really struggle.

Have I also mentioned that I haven't had a cigarette since Sunday afternoon. I would assume that Sunday would make me officially a "Non-smoker".

Back with more after the chest x-ray results....

The Sickness Continues...

Today marks Day 4 of not going to work. I woke up this morning with still a low-grade fever. I called the office to let them know that I would not be there. I then called the doctor's office to find out what the hell was going on with me. He gave me cough medicine and it makes me cough more. The nurse told me to stop taking the medicine and switch to over-the-counter Robitussin ASAP. So, I'm starting to laugh at the fact that I went to a doctor and will end up taking an OTC medication. Funny. And then I'm blowin' my nose and out comes ALL OF THIS BLOOD! I have never had a nosebleed and was a little freaked out when there was blood running down my face, down my shirt, onto my feet, etc. So the nosebleed made me call the doc again and his response was: Come to my office as soon as you can - we're sending you for a chest x-ray. Sam leaves for the airport in fifteen minutes. I will be alone for the next three days until I fly to Austin. I certainly hope I can fly. If I am still this congested on Saturday or if something shows up on the chest x-ray, I most likely won't be taking a vacation.
At least my office has been nice about me not being there but I think they all forgot that I am on vacation next week too. And the worst part of all of this (I think I've mentioned this before), I'm not getting paid for ANY of this time off!!!!!

More details after the chest x-ray.

Sick and Tired...

Seriously. Went to the doctor yesterday and I have bronchitis and sinusitis. I've been off work since Monday because I'm running a fever still. I feel like crappo! I've been coughing since Saturday and didn't know why. My first thought: I smoke too much. So I remedied that situation. I haven't had a cigarette since Sunday afternoon. However, that must not have been the cause of my illness given that I have actually gotten worse since Sunday. I felt crappy on Monday morning. And even though I was completely dressed for work and about to walk out the door, I was feeling kinda woozy. I had a coughing attack that resulted in vomiting - this has continued every day since. So I decided to take my temperature. 100.4...I was sticking around at home for the day. The fever went up to 101.5 over the course of the next 24-hours so I called the doctor. I have to give props to this doctor guy. Not only was I able to get in the same day (as a new patient), he really took the time to tell me what was going on and make referrals to a pulmonary doctor (He thinks I may have asthma or sleep apnea). I really dug this guy.

So, pros of being at home sick:

Sam is taking care of me
Get to sleep all day or watch TV all day
Am on drugs that make me drowsy
Don't have to get dressed
Have lost about 10 pounds because I don't want to eat and am drinking tons of fluids
Haven't brushed my hair in 3 days
Haven't smoked since Sunday

Cons of being sick:

I hate being sick
Feel like crap
Sam is leaving for Austin on Thursday (I follow him (hopefully) on Saturday night)
I'm still working from home
I'm not getting paid to be at home sick (sick days don't kick in until May 28th)
Haven't smoked since Sunday
Coughing sucks (does it burn calories?)
Still expected to contact patients and their families as well as get things together for my supervisors


I'm heading back to bed now....I'm seeing double right now and have just coughed up my left lung. Cheers!

Recap and Stuff

I've been somewhat absent from posting for the last two weeks or so. I have so much going through my head and really want to try to get it down on "paper", so please bear with me, it's gonna be a long one. About a week and a half ago I really got to play "Social Worker in Action". One of the things that I realized has been bothering me is that I meet people, I get to know the family and then they die. I haven't had a chance to make really strong bonds with any of my patients. I was always secondary to the family and nursing staff. I currently have a patient that I have really been able to forge a strong bond with. She's an independent woman who has no family around to take care of her. Unfortunately, her health has declined some in recent weeks and she had to be sent to our inpatient unit for symptom management. The cool part? I got to go with her on her intake. I got to help pack her things, make sure that everything in her home would be taken care of without her, ride in an ambulance, and advocate for her once she got to the unit. It was such a feeling of pride I finally knew what it was like to be a real social worker, helping people when they are their most vulnerable.



The following week, I got to go to the HPCANYS conference (Hospice and Palliative Care Association of New York State) with seven of my co-workers. We rode upstate on a train, bonded, stayed in a really nice hotel and even got to learn something. I was told by the director of my Hospice that they hope I will present at the conference next year (after my new program gets started). The possibility of addressing a large crowd about something that I helped create would be amazing. I had such a good time. It really cemented to me the reason that I am doing what I do. I bonded with my co-workers and made really good connections with them. I work with an amazing group of people. It also helped that there was a lot of wine and great food involved. However, it was very strange to be one of maybe five people under the age of forty. I included a picture of a few of my peoples. I was asked by the VP of Hospice to attend another Palliative Care conference in NYC in June. What an honor.



My new program begins on April 25th (the day I return from vacation) with an official kick-off on May 1st. I got my new business cards today and can't wait to get started. I just completed and got approval on our policies and procedures (which I wrote) as well as the "Election of Benefits" and "Informed Consent" forms. Hospice has finally stopped giving me new patients. I currently have 11 patients and will stick with them until they die. I'm really enjoying getting to know my patients more and more. I'm hoping to write some sort of memory book that includes patient stories, family stories as well as stories from the clinical staff. I'm hoping to speak about that to my supervisors in the next month or so.

So many exciting things are going on, but I'm also getting bogged down with a great deal of newly added responsibilities. I have one more full week to make sure that all of my ducks are in a row before heading to Texas to visit family and see Shelly and Joe get married. We are so excited about going home. It'll be weird not to stay in our house, but it wouldn't be fair to bunk in with the family that we are renting to. We're going to see our friend Brian, who will be vacationing from the Army at the same time that we are in town. We haven't seen much of anyone since we were home last July. I can't wait to see my dogs....

Okay, I think I've caught myself up with all of the happenings of the last two weeks or so. I'm really going to try to post a bit more often.

Sign of the Apocalypse?

No, nothing scary or anything like that... I left for work today with a windbreaker. The weather has been so nice for the past week or so. I expected some rain... and then the rain turned to sleet and then to snow and then to a full-on blizzard. In April! And by the afternoon, it was warm, sunny and all of the snow had melted. Seriously? What kind of place are we living in?

I can't convey how shocked I was. I was so unprepared. If there's going to be snow in April, can we get some sort of warning? Weird...