For Real... I'm scared!

This doesn't make sense to me. I start my new job tomorrow and I should be excited. Unfortunately, I am scared to death. What if I don't fit in? What if I suck at my new job? Am I really a good social worker? Can I pull this off? I have spent the last five or six years preparing for this very moment, preparing for tomorrow and this is not how I pictured it. My first internship was scary, but I knew that I could make mistakes and it wouldn't cost me anything. My second internship was somewhat scarier because it was for an entire year. But again, it was an internship. I could make mistakes and no one would get hurt. I was backed by my supervisor and the school and of course, the malpractice insurance.

But tomorrow is different. If I fuck up, they can make the decision to fire me. If I fuck up, people's lives are affected. I will be coming into client's lives under the assumption that I'm going to do all that I can to make their lives better. What if I fail? Deep down, I feel like I can do this. I feel that I have been properly trained and that I am well educated but I just don't feel ready to be out in the real world. It's funny, before I started my final two years at UT in the Social Work program, I felt like I was already prepared to work as a social worker. I just had to get the education to back it up. I mean, I'm good with people, I have a good heart and I want to make a difference, but it's so much easier to have good intentions than to perform.

My heart is racing, I feel like pulling my hair out. I'll be up at 4:00 am tomorrow to say goodbye to my parents and to basically spend the next three hours pacing around the apartment before I have to take a shower and get ready. I spent tonight printing out all of the paperwork for my new job. I guess I'm more afraid of the uncertainty. I have no idea what happens tomorrow. I have two weeks before I actually begin my orientation. I have no idea when I'll actually be in the field and the control-freak in me hates not knowing. I wish that I had a printed agenda of what will be happening for the next month or so, but I don't. Maybe I'll get something tomorrow, but I just don't know what's going to happen.

On the other hand, I'll be assigned to a cubicle and will be taking my ID picture and will get a tour of the facility. I'm so excited to have my own cubicle (sad, isn't it?), to have business cards, my own work e-mail address and an extension (phone, that is). I'm excited to meet new people and also scared. What if they don't like me?

Am I being stupid for being scared? I know that it's not rational, but I can't help it. Hopefully this will subside by the time I get to work in the morning, but if it doesn't, I'll be posting a very interesting blog entry tomorrow evening.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me throughout this job search and those who are more confident about me than I am about me. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I'll let you know tomorrow how the first day went. Wow, it feels like starting school all over again. How cute. At least my killer outfit is planned!

Happy Birthday Mom and Dad

It's amazing to me how many people have birthdays in November. In addition to Annie earlier this month and both Jessica's in the past two days, both of my parents have their birthday's today and our little cousin, Maya will be 3 tomorrow. But this post is to pay tribute to my parents. I am so happy to have my parents in NYC for the holiday this week. My mom has walked me all over Manhattan and my dad has gone right along with it. I love when my parents come to visit, because my mom is so cute when she's here. She loves to ride on the subways and can't help whispering to me every couple of blocks, "I'm in New York". Sam has enjoyed having my Dad as a drinking buddy this week, putting away a 12-pack last night while Mom and I went to see Rent (the movie). We have quite the itinerary and have just about every minute of their vacation planned.

On today's agenda, we have "Treat Mom Like a Queen". We haven't done too well in keeping with this agenda due to the UT vs. A&M Football game that hasn't been a blowout, but we're gonna try harder. Next we're going to go shopping in our neighborhood (as per Mom's request) and tonight we'll be having an Italian dinner (as per my Dad's request). And then there's cake and a movie at home.

But damnit, again I digress. Basically, all I really need to say is:

Happy Birthday Mom and Dad. Don't worry Mom, I won't mention that you're turning the big 5-?? (bet you thought I was gonna put that you're 55!) Oops, oh well. You look amazing for your age.

Love you both!!!! Many more years of health and happiness!

Happy Turkey Day! and Happy B-Day Jessica F.

As I sit here watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade with my parents and Sam, I am thankful that we did not make the trek in the cold to watch it in person like we did last year. This way we actually get to see the performers and the floats and not just the huge balloons. I love this time of year. It's a little cold for my taste, but at least the weather's nice. Today we're sharing Thanksgiving with Sam's aunt and uncle and cousins. Tonight mom and I will be seeing Rent on the big screen while my dad and Sam go see Walk the Line. It's wonderful to have my parents here. Nothing beats bagels and lox and watching the parade on TV.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I am thankful for:
- My husband
- My parents being in NYC
- My wonderful family
- My mother-in-law kicking cancer's ass
- My amazing friends
- My new job
- My health
- My future

What are you thankful for?

On another note, I'd like to wish a very Happy Birthday to Jessica F. She's making the trek to Texas to be with her boyfriend's parents and celebrating her birthday on a plane. Jess, we love you and miss you and will hopefully see you next week. Happy 24th Birthday. May all your birthday dreams come true.

Jessica T. Turns the Big 3-0

Our dear friend Jessica turns 30 tomorrow. That's her up there in all her splendor and glory! In order to celebrate, her boyfriend, Mark contacted her friends for a surprise gathering at a bar in their neighborhood. Given that Jessica is an amazing gal and we hardly get to see her, we were totally there! It was an intimate gathering where the 7&7 flowed freely, the conversation was great and plenty of cigarettes were smoked. After the bar, we retired to Jess & Mark's place for Dance Party USA. You should see Jessica dance. One of the only white girls I know with so much rhythm and soul. She could dance for hours. Sam and I had a great time and made it home by 3:00 am.

So, Happy Birthday Jessica!!!! This is the first of a few birthday celebrations this week! Thanks to Mark for making the party happen!



Love to you both and Happy Turkey Day

The Dangers of Waiting for a Bus...

Saturday night Sam and I ventured out into our neighborhood for some Bar BQ. We met up with Pax and Mary and ate some finger-lickin' pulled pork, sausage, ribs and brisket. This is some of the best grub we have found north of good ol' Austin, Texas. I highly recommend Bar BQ to anyone in Brooklyn with a hankerin' for some tongue-ticklin' BBQ! After dinner, we headed back to the Levine pad for tons more drinking. But before we got to the pad.... Trouble ensued.

Allow me to break down the MTA mishap that we encountered. In order to keep from walking 25 blocks back to our apartment at 11:00 pm in the cold, we decided to take a bus. The bus only comes once an hour late at night and we had about 15 minutes before it was to pick us up. So we stopped for beer and decided to walk to the next bus stop in order to keep moving in the cold. Before we reached the stop, the bus came lumbering down the street. We had yet to reach the actual stop so Sam and Pax ran for it and were able to catch it. Mary and I were close behind when the driver closed the doors and began to drive off. It then stopped at a red light and we proceeded to continue running to catch up. As we got to the bus, Sam had hopped off to wait for us and Pax had jammed himself in the door. He was being yelled at by the bus driver who was refusing to stop between stops to let us gals on. Had Pax not stood his ground, we would have had a long walk. I thanked the driver for letting us on and he mumbled some sort of obscenity. When we reached our destination, he yelled at us about something and Sam gave him the finger. I'm tempted to contact the MTA to let them know that our driver seemed way too concerned about staying on his "schedule" rather than ensuring the safety of his riders. What an ass!

Well we all had a big laugh about it and drank heavily, toasting our dickhead bus driver! Hooray MTA (snicker, snicker)

Reflections

I wanted to reflect on something very important to me and my family. A year ago today my family lost someone very special. My grandfather, Sheldon Schatz, passed away one year ago. It's hard to believe that the time has gone by so fast. I know that this has been very hard for my mom more than anyone else. She was incredibly close to her dad and misses him terribly. My grandmother has been so brave over the last year, continuing on with her life and not letting his death overtake her. I think of my grandpa often. Every time something new and exciting happens in my life, it breaks my heart that I can't call him and tell him about it.

Of course, I can continue to dwell on all of the things that he's missing now that he's gone, but I'd much rather focus on all of the things that he was here for. He was my lively grandpa for 27 years. He was there when I graduated from UT and he was next to me when I married Sam. He was a strong source of encouragement in everything that I did. He still continues to be a strong source of encouragement. I know that he was so proud of me and wanted to be in NY when I graduated from Columbia and when my cousin David graduated from Penn Medical School, but his presence was there. I know that he's continuing to watch over me and my family.

Mom, I know that today is going to be very difficult for you. I know that the loss of grandpa seems to be more compounded as time goes by. Know that I am thinking of you and am here for you as a shoulder to cry on. We all miss him.

Every time I see a penny on the ground I think of my grandpa. He always stopped to pick up any loose change on the ground. For some reason that tradition has continued on with my mom and me. It's a nice way to remember him.

A new me!

As per my "To-Do List", I wanted and desperately needed a haircut. My loving husband called his stylist Michaela to make an appointment. She has wanted to cut my hair for months and I was finally trusting enough to let her. Let me say, she did an amazing job. I gave her all of the control and I couldn't be happier. So check out my new sassy, saucy haircut!

And if you're in NYC, go see Michaela. She works at a salon in SoHo, but also has a home salon near us. She's worth every penny!

Finally, one thing marked off of my list!

Oh, What a Day

Today was interesting to say the least. I had to go into work (my new job) to gain medical clearance. I had no idea what this meant, so I went in with an open mind. I got there and checked in and then proceeded to wait for one hour before the receptionist had enough of me sitting and took me where I needed to go. Why she hadn't done this an hour before was beyond me. So I went to "Employee Health" and filled out a form with my medical history. For some reason, even though I was 3rd in line, I had to wait for about 9 people to go before me. They were getting flu shots and promised that it would be quick.

The doc checked my ears and my throat and took my blood pressure (110 over 70, not bad). He then asked me about my back injury (I wrote it down on the form). He said he wanted to test me. Didn't know what this meant, but I went with it. You'll get a kick out of his test:

Doctor: "Lay down. Now sit up. Lay down again. Now sit up. You passed the test, your back is fine."

It was too funny. Then he went to town on my belly, kneading my sides and my "area" (as Liza Palmer calls it) and then he was done. On top of all of this excitement, he had to give me a TB test. Now we've all had these before. When I had it last, they put this little thing on your skin with like 6 or 8 little needles and it didn't hurt. Today I had it the New York way. Don't know if it's nationwide because I've only lived in New York and Texas. But he took a syringe and put the needle under my skin. I couldn't help but watch and it was disturbing. Then he injected a liquid under my skin until it bubbled up and then put a band-aid on it. What the fuck? And now I have to come back on Monday to have it read, which really entails them looking at my arm for five seconds and signing a piece of paper. So as long as I don't have TB, I'm cleared to work! Yahoo...

It's really becoming real....I'm gonna be a working gal!

Irony, Sweet Irony

On August 17th, I interviewed for a fantastic job at the YWCA of NYC. On August 22nd, I interviewed a second time for the same job. September went by and even though I was in weekly contact with the director of the program I was hoping to be hired for, they still hadn't made a decision. October also went by and they still hadn't made a decision. At this point, I was still very hopeful for the position but also a little concerned because I felt somewhat strung along. After not hearing anything for a few weeks, I contacted the YWCA in November. I was told that they were unable to find enough money in the budget to hire a social worker and that they just weren't going to have a social worker for their program. To be honest, I was crushed! I really felt that I would fit in so wonderfully at the YWCA and felt that they had a superb program. But I also didn't want to work some place that could eliminate a crucial role when it was really needed. So I forgot about it and hoped that I would hear something from MJHS.

So, as you know I was offered a position at MJHS last week and I am absolutely thrilled. Today, my phone rang and it was a Manhattan number. I was thinking in the back of my mind that the number looked somewhat familiar but it certainly couldn't be the YWCA. Well, I was wrong. This was the conversation:

YWCA: Hi Carlye, I have a question for you. Are you currently working?
Carlye: I start my new job on the 28th of November.
YWCA: Are you serious?
Carlye: Why, did something change at the YWCA?
YWCA: Yes, we went to war against the board and won. We're now able to hire a social worker.
Carlye: That's heartbreaking. I just accepted this job last week.
YWCA: I knew about our position last week but wanted to work out all of the details before I offered it to you.
Carlye: Wow, how ironic.
YWCA: Well, I wish you the best of luck at your new job, but if for some reason it doesn't work out, call me and we'll have a place for you.

Are you kidding me?! According to a conversation my husband had with his father, "Now that she has a job, employers will come out of the woodwork to hire her." He couldn't have been more right. I'm shocked to say the least, but I also feel honored. As much as I would have loved to work at the YWCA, I strongly believe in everything happening for a reason. I feel like I am meant to be at MJHS and meant to do the kind of work that MJHS offers. It's interesting to think that if the YWCA had called me last week, that I might not have taken the job at MJHS. Again, I think I made the right decision, or rather, the right job found me.

Isn't it funny how things work out?

I bow down to the Fed Ex Gods

My letter has arrived via the lovely people at Fed Ex! I can't tell you how exciting this is. Allow me to give you a few of the highlights of my letter:

15 Vacation Days
15 Sick Day
3 Personal Days
10 Holidays
I get my birthday off!
Full health benefits (which I probably won't take because Sam's insurance is sooo good)
Pension Plan
Life Insurance
Annuity Plan (?)

and....

Tuition Reimbursement

I can get another masters, or work towards my PhD or just take some cool classes that are beneficial to my job. Maybe I'll get a nursing degree, that should come in handy.

I'll get more info when I report to the HR department @ 9:00 am on Monday, November 28th!

Two weeks of "vacation"

I have exactly two weeks from today until I start my new job. I should get my actual job offer via FedEx in the next day or so. I still can't believe that this is happening. It doesn't feel real. I woke up late this morning (as usual) and decided that I only have two weeks, so I better take care of some things. If I had known on August 1st (when I started looking for a job) that I wouldn't be working until November 28th, I would have taken care of so many things. So for the next two weeks, I have a few things that I want to get taken care of.

1. Get my SW License. (If I'm not approved by ASWB by then, I will spend the 2 weeks studying like hell)
2. Get a haircut. (Gotta look good for the new job. I have an appointment scheduled on Friday)
3. Go to the gynecologist. (I've been putting off my annual since May)
4. Get my eyes checked and get new glasses. (My glasses have a chip in the middle of the right lens)
5. Clean my apartment (My parents will be here next week and the place has to be spotless)
6. Get a light jacket (I need a nice jacket to wear to work that isn't my heavy winter coat)
7. Read 2 books (I need to do something for just me, right?)

In order to accomplish these things I need to start waking up at 8:00 am every day so that I have a full day in which to get things done. Also during this time, I need to do a few trial runs to the new office via subway, to see what time I'll have to leave in the mornings to get to work.

Now I need to figure out which two books to read. I have approximately 8 books sitting on the shelf waiting to be read. I'm also in the middle of reading James Frey's books, A Million Little Pieces and am trying to re-read Steve Martin's Shopgirl in anticipation of seeing the movie. Unfortunately, neither are really holding my attention. Here's a list that I need to choose from. Any recommendations or helpful hints would be greatly appreciated:

1. Reviving Ophelia, Mary Pipher
2. The Lovely Bones, Alice Sebold
3. A Brother's Journey, Richard Peltzer
4. Everyone Worth Knowing, Lauren Weisberger
5. The Dog Walker, Leslie Schnur
6. Son of a Witch, Gregory Maguire
7. Mirror, Mirror, also Gregory Maguire
8. Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister, Gregory Maguire

So please help me pick something. I think I'm in need of a little "chick-lit" to help in the relaxation. Wish me luck on crossing things off of my goal list as well.

Hell Froze Over...

I'm gonna have to rethink my blog now. It was supposed to be about the struggles of finding a job, but as of today...

*Hallelujah*

I HAVE A JOB!!!!!

I am an employed Social Work Care Manager for MJHS. They finally called me today (after 5:00 pm, mind you) to officially offer me the job. They said my background check was clear and that my references were glowing. They offered me more money than I was hoping for complete with vacation, sick days, personal days and health insurance.

I am ecstatic! I got off the phone with the HR guy @ MJHS and completely lost it. I tried to call my husband to tell him the news but he was on the subway. I called my mom and couldn't get the words out, I was crying so hard.

I am relieved. I start on November 28th, which is great since my parents will be here for Thanksgiving and are leaving on the 28th. I have to go shopping and buy some new clothes for my fancy new job.

Did I mention I was excited?! I feel like I am in a fog. I don't know what to do. Sam wants me to start calling everyone I know to share the news, but I feel almost frozen. My grandma was so excited and proud and can finally tell all her old biddy friends that her granddaughter is employed and didn't go to Columbia for nothing.

Thanks to all of you who read this (is that presumptuous to think that people actually read this) and crossed your fingers for me. It helped.

I'm employed! I don't have to sell plasma or get a job at the local coffee shop (although they are hiring).

Next stop - getting my license so I can make it official!

Afraid of Jinxing this...

But I'm having a really good week. First off, yesterday morning I got another call from MJHS asking if I was still available for the position and making sure that I still wanted it, noting that they were almost finished with all of the "bureaucratic bullshit" before they could make a decision on who to hire. I called back and told them that I was available, I still wanted the job and to please call me when a decision was made. I hesitated to write about any of this, because I didn't want to blow it by getting my hopes up.

In addition to getting a call from MJHS, I also got a call from the NBA. That's right kids, the National Basketball Association!! I have to give props to my dear friend Annie for putting in the call for me and forwarding my resume. I spoke with the NBA today and basically my new job is to look at the job listings and to let them know if I thought I was qualified for any of them. If I am qualified, I now have an inside track to hopefully get myself hired. This is very exciting news!

As I sit, it is very possible that I could be employed by the end of the week! Yay money!!! So I'm keeping my fingers crossed. If there is anyone reading this (besides my husband and my mom), please wish me well and keep me in your thoughts.

On another note, it's Election Day. Did everyone go out and vote? Sadly, I did not....I don't think I'm registered anywhere since I have dual citizenship (Texas and New York).

Looking forward to Friday - Veterans Day. Jessica and I are hitting the Queens Mall to do a little shopping. Oh how I miss real indoor malls! I can't wait to shop!

Later Gators! Gonna try out another Rachael Ray recipe tonight...

I Heart NY

I made Sam get out of bed at 9:30 am this morning so that we could walk down to 4th Avenue to watch the marathon. Doesn't sound too exciting does it? Well, you'd be wrong. For some reason, I was really emotional this morning. Watching the wheelchair "runners" go by was amazing. I was so inspired to see visually impaired men and woman walking (and some running) the marathon. I was especially amazed by two participants - the man and woman who were participating in the marathon with two artificial legs. It kinda made me feel bad that I take my two legs for granted.

I never imagined what watching the marathon really meant. The motorcade, consisting of police suburbans, motorcycles, and a classic convertable containing Mayor Bloomberg, really made you feel like you were witnessing something important. Cheering on the front runners, who were at mile 8 after 34 minutes was exhilerating. About ten minutes later, when the throngs of runners came by, we knew why the marathon is such an important event in NYC. Thousands upon thousands of runners passed us, their bodies sweating and their muscles flexing, all for a common goal - completing a 26 mile run. It was interesting to see all of the countries and the age ranges represented. These people were doing something that I could never imagine doing and I was impressed.

We left the marathon route @ 11 am and headed for breakfast. Luckily we were able to watch the end of the marathon on TV at the cafe. Can you imagine completing a 26-mile run in just over 2 hours? Never gonna happen! But maybe we can continue our two mile walks on the weekend on a more consistent basis.

So, whether you're running a marathon, running a race, running for office, or running late - get out and run. Make something happen! Let's hope that I can take my own advice.

Happy Friday!!

Today I am paying homage to all things Friday (and Saturday and Sunday):

Being Lazy (a la our lovely dog Janie)
Payday (not for me 'cause I'm unemployed)
Two solid days with Sam before he's back to work on Monday
Getting beer and watching Netflix
Getting to stay up late tonight because we can sleep in tomorrow
Watching the NYC Marathon on Sunday morning
Trying out a new Rachael Ray recipe
Shopping
Roaming the neighborhood
Two more weeks until my parents are here to visit
Sending off my SW license application (finally!)
Reading a novel
Catching up with celebrities via People Magazine (delivered every Friday)
Enjoying the fall weather
Eating out
A few days off before getting back to the job hunt

Happy Friday everyone!!!!

Grey skies are gonna clear up...

So I'm puttin' on a Happy Face. Last night, the husband and I went to a cute and cozy (read: small) Italian restaurant for Annie's birthday party. We had yummy food (gnocci) and good company and a huge $300 bill for the 8 of us. During the dinner, my long-absent father (can I even call him that?) called to catch up. Catch up went as follows:

Him: So my daughters are wonderful, one is in grad school for free and the other is a stay at home mom who's pregnant with my second grandchild (Neither of these daughters referenced are me). Did I mention that my first and only grandchild is the cutest thing ever? And my job is paying me tons of money and keeping me busy and we're selling our house and moving to the lake house permanently.

Me: Oh, that's great.

Him: Oh, congrats on graduating. When are you going to get a job?

Me: Um, well...working on it.

So the conversation was incredibly awkward. It was as if I had just met this guy and was learning about his family and his job. It did not feel like he was my father and we were talking about my sisters. Isn't it sad that I have this whole family out there that wants nothing to do with me? Oh well. Their loss!

But back to the Happy Face. We had a fun dinner with Annie last night. I woke up to the cell phone ringing today. The number looked familiar but no message. Then I checked my e-mail. It was from the HR guy at MJHS telling me that I am still in the running for the great job that wants to pay me a lot of money. I called him back and he was pleased to hear that I was still available and said that they would have a final decision by next week.

I could actually be employed! I could have enough money to pay my bills, get my license and take my supportive hubby out for a steak dinner. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but it's hard not to. I'm excited about the possibility.

Damn sucky ass photographer

On another note, I want to share my sheer frustration about our wedding photographer. Sam and I were married on May 23, of 2004. Our wedding photographer was the same as my best friend, Amanda's photographer. Even though she warned me that he didn't take any pictures during their reception, I figured I would keep a good watch on him and make sure that didn't happen. About a month after we got married, our crappy photographer brought me the proofs in a lovely album. According to the contract we were to also get a custom 16x20 print and an 18-page professional album. Unfortunately, we got so bogged down in moving to NYC and packing and Sam starting a new job that we didn't pick our pictures for the wedding album. About six months after we moved, I e-mailed him wanting to know what I needed to do to get the album made. I didn't hear back from him. I made some inquiries as to where he was and how to get ahold of him. When he finally got back to me he let me know that he had gone out of business and offered us $500 and our negatives or an album that would take a long time. I wanted the album.

Months later and still no word from him. I e-mailed a month ago and asked what the next step was. A few days ago I sent a threatening e-mail requesting either the album and the custom print or a full refund. This morning I got an e-mail from him and the bastard filed for bankruptcy. Bankruptcy! Know what that means for me? No album, no $500, no refund - not a God Damn thing! I can't do anything. At least he offered to send me the negatives. So now I am a stupid bride with no wedding album. Guess I'm gonna have to foot the bill to get a nice album.

Note to future brides - Enforce your contract before the jackass files bankruptcy. Choose your pictures as soon as you have the chance and don't move to NYC before getting your wedding album. Terry Allen Smith - May you rot in hell!

This is a picture taken by our friend Chris - much better than anything our photographer could do.

Second Wind?

I had a great interview today. I felt like I really connected to the woman who met with me and feel that I would be a really good fit for this job. It didn't hurt that I finally got to name drop and it actually meant something. I knew the intern who worked under this woman last year and I have a friend who is currently interning there. That can't hurt. I should hopefully get called back for a second interview in the next week or so. The job doesn't pay all that well, but I feel like it's the kind of job that I can definitely see myself doing well.

So the next step is getting my license. I did some studying today and am starting to feel a little better about being a social worker. My darling husband is refusing to let me scrap the money together to pay for my license. He's going to take care of it so that I can get it sooner. So now the next step is getting cleared from the state to take my exam. I'm nervous about that.

Wish me luck...

Catch 22

Here's the latest dilemma - my SW license. There is nothing more I want than to be a LMSW. However, getting to that dream is much harder than I had originally thought. I have received advice from employed social workers in the last few days that is quite obvious. They have told me that most agencies won't even look at me until I have my LMSW. Well, duh! It's always better to hire someone who is actually licensed to do what they do rather than someone like me who just plays a professional on TV. Of course I should have my license. Of course I want my license. What's keeping me from getting it, you ask? Well, the wonderful folks at the State of New York feel that it is a necessary evil to take money from someone who will not make any money in their lifetime. To this I will add my own little Mastercard Commercial:

Registering in the State of New York: $270

Fee to take the Exam: $175

Spending $445 so that you are a
licensed professional and can now
make minimum wage for the rest
of your life: PRICELESS

Currently, I do not have the $445 to spend to get a license. Not to mention the fact that this is not a guarantee that I will get my license. I would still have to pass the damn test. I refuse to beg for the money from my parents and I certainly will not ask my husband for the money (yes, we have separate money) because I feel that this is something I should do on my own. I am the one who chose to go into SW, I am the one who chose to go to Columbia and I was the one who was stupid enough to think that this whole SW thing would be easy.

So that's my rant about being a Real Live Social Worker. Social Workers are asked to give their heart and soul to the people they serve and in return we get shitty wages, little recognition and get to live slightly above the poverty line. Who the hell created this profession? Oh well....Damn me for wanting to help people and change the world.

But back to the real reason for this post - the Irony.

I can't get a job unless I have a license and I can't get a license because I can't afford to pay for it without having a job.

I hate getting caught in the Catch 22!